The culture of Korea

[ Though written in May of 2001, I think my friend Tamara's list of observations on her visit to Korea is interesting and certainly relevant today, given the prominence of Korea in the news. I normally include in this blog only stuff I have written personally, but I feel this is a worthy exception. -- Adam]

A QUICK PROFILE OF SOUTH KOREA

- high cell phone usage; cells provided mainly by a company called Cyon;
most rings are answered immediately with no apology (incl. in restaurants,
in the middle of conversations, in bathrooms, and on subways)

- most kids have desktop computers with a DSL connection (unlike Japan,
where people surf the web and answer email on their cell phones)

- appearance is extremely important, esp. perfectly unblemished and light skin

- the ENTIRE border to North Korea is lined with barb wire, military
stations & spotlights... and North Korea has built huge apts. in sight of
Seoul to show their economic independence (btw, all the apts. are empty)

- cars tend to be Daewoo, Hyundai & Kia, which use either regular gas or
'LPG' (which burns slightly cleaner)... all foreign imports require heavily
taxes (I saw only 2 BMWs in Korea)

- Korean women dress trendy, not cute; however, their mannerisms can be
cute (ok, except all school girls seem to look impossibly cute)

- the myth is true: toilet paper, which is packaged in multiple ways, is
used as a napkin, paper towel and face tissue -- even in offices and
restaurants

- Koreans drink instant coffee 2-4x a day; don't really drink any type of
tea regularly (more a Japanese cultural thing)

- Korean suburbs are actually HUGE apt complexes... 8-12 buildings per
complex, each building 20 floors tall, each floor 4-6 apts.

- no real concept of privacy or solitude, esp. when family is over... you
are always "on" and engaged

- countryside consists of rural high mountains, like West Virginia or parts
of Colorado

- the roles are still distinct between men and women... traditionally, the
women will cook and eat after the men

- women are expected to marry by 25 (latest 28)... I received many
questions about the status of my "upcoming" marriage

- all highways are toll roads, usually costing between $100-2000 won (about

- most Korean men smoke and drink daily, something you never criticize in
public

- outside Korean cities, produce is grown in many greenhouses along rice
patties

- surprisingly, many men and women dye their hair, usually brown/copper
highlights

- kids spend 8-10 hours in school, then 2-5hrs in an after-school program
(called hogwa)

- if home, families are expected to eat and sit together

- every meal includes a spicy dish, usually 2-4 kimchee variations (of 100+
types)

- every store will put its sign on its building -- creating an overall very
colorful, very cluttered look (think Las Vegas)

- 1/5 signs are in English, 1/5 are in Korean spelling phonetic English,
most highway signs include English "subtitles"

- American movies are subtitled in Korean

- most product packaging contains English mispellings for some reason

- many Koreans study English in school (mostly written study) so they are
willing to practice English in conversations

- Koreans love small house dogs, but raise & eat a different type of dog
for dog stew (uh-huh)

- most of the houses and restaurants have heated floors (mmm) which creates
very dry heat... in the winters, I'm told they burn coal to heat the floors

- most Koreans sit on the floor, incl. homes and restaurants

- cities have high levels of pollution due to many factories and constant
traffic... if the U.S. pollution average is 100, Seoul is 2000 (my biggest
challenge for the entire trip was a burned throat and a hoarse cough)

- I have observed little attention to design, fengshui, space -- Koreans
have a similar concept called "pungso" (ex., most buildings face south) but
it's not really practiced

- almost always, shoes are removed at the entrance of a home, template and
restaurant

- Koreans tend to be either Christian or Buddhist

- most families don't continue ancestor shrines but will honor dead
(grand)parents in an annual ritual

- overall diet tends to be healthy (rice, fish, soup, vegetables)... but
Koreans actually love junk food (incl. their version of American hotdogs,
fried potatoes, pizza which has corn and squid)

- the music Koreans hear is all over the map... U.S. 80's and 90's, some
recent hits, Japanese hits, Korean bugglegum pop

- while their meals often takes a long time to prepare, Koreans eat
extremely fast with little beverage and eat all day... the order food seems
to be served is side dishes, meat/seafood, rice, a little water...

On being warm

[ I wrote the following note in December of 1998 while living in Europe and immediately after traveling through Belgium and Ireland. The weather was cold, but interactions with the locals made my heart warm. -- Adam ]

I just came back from a relatively short vacation in Belgium and Ireland. Of course, I have a lot to say about my visits in these fine countries, but for now I'm just going to share one noteworthy tidbit.

As I was hauling my 35 pound suitcase down a street in a suburb of Dublin, a kindly older woman smiled at me and said something. Though I had already become accustomed to and appreciative of the typical Irish friendliness I had been encountering during my stay... the suddenness of her comment and her deep Irish accent caused me to miss what she said.

She stopped walking, smiled again, and repeated: "I hope you'll be warm where you're going!"

Indeed, it was a bit nippy in Ireland at the moment, and so I suppose it was a rather unsurprising, though admittedly a bit random comment. But for several reasons, it stuck with me.

The Irish had been good to me during my stay. Although I didn't really know any Irish people before visiting, I greatly appreciated the cheerfulness and warmth of the natives, who patiently gave me directions, offered recommendations, and gave me extra-big helpings of good food :-)

In light of this pleasant environment, I took the woman's comment in another context. While it's not always possible to be physically warm in these harsh winter months (at least here in freezing Europe!), there's definitely something to be said for keeping and spreading warmth in a broader sense.

During the holidays, we typically exchange gifts, fill ourselves with good food, and sometimes even sing songs in this time of year in which even the most tone-deaf amongst us are free from ostracization and pained glances. And there's certainly nothing wrong with these traditions :-)

But I'd like to put in a good word for BEING WARM... for figuratively lighting a warm fireplace for strangers with our smiles, our kind compliments, our seemingly tiny but still important thoughtful acts, and so on. This holiday season... instead of just being the life of the party, be the warmth.

And as the wise Irish woman wished for me, I too wish for you: I hope you'll be warm where you're going... for the rest of this year, and beyond.

On smiling

[I had originally published this pensive note on my usually joke-filled "Smile List" e-mail newsletter sometime around 1997, and since I enjoyed a rather positive response, I thought I'd share it also on my site here.? Enjoy! -- Adam ]

*?*?*

Today the topic is SMILING, something that -- logically enough -- is at the heart of my Smile List. So today, we take a break from jokes... to think about things that make us smile in other ways.

A few weeks ago, I was leisurely enjoying ice cream at a small family owned Italian ice cream shop here in Germany. Sharing the wonderful rich dessert with a good friend made it worth every penny for this non-discount treat. We could tell, too, that the waiter (the son of the owner) not only had great pride in the delights he was serving, but also enjoyed the atmosphere of relaxed and happy customers.

The three of us engaged in pleasant chatter for a bit, and when it was time to pay, I gave him a small tip in German money (as is customary), but also added a U.S. dollar bill. He was confused but excited and handed it back to me, but I assured him he could keep it. His glowing smile still sticks with me today... such happiness from a little gesture. He shook my hand -- repeatedly -- and walked with my friend and me to the door as we exited, still smiling broadly.

Fast forward to yesterday. It was a cold and stormy day... not much good for anything, it seemed. Determined to make the best of my free Saturday, I invited a good friend to join me... first shopping, and then cooking a warm, creative meal, combined with good wine. And... rich vanilla ice cream, this time with just a smattering of fine Italian Amaretto. We were cooking and eating and laughing and relaxing for hours... literally hours. As we talked, we both commented how it seems people don't take the time to relax... enjoy the little things, savor the 'small' moments. In this era of in-your-face movies, pounding music, 60 hour work weeks, why are we not more often content to sip wine with friends, sit and wonder, ponder, chat about little and big things, and just savor a few unstructured moments?

And when was the last time you took a bath? I did, this morning :-). I had forgotten how peaceful it is, how much it makes me smile.

In this world, there are great people doing great things. Great sammaritans, famous doctors, brilliant artists. But too often, we forget about the power of little people... everyday individuals... and little things.

From a few simple lines I typed here a while back in the Smile List, over 100 of you sent get-well wishes to my friend Moni. She's recently been able not only to walk just fine, but also rollerblade, and she's now working and traveling in Asia via an intership there. Your warm thoughts meant a lot to her, and perhaps even helped speed the healing process.

Lots of you, too, sent cards to my grandparents, wishing them a happy 60th anniversary and Grandparents' Day... from all over the world.

Every day, we have the options to do little, simple things to make ourselves and others smile. Do it. Give someone a random hug. Cook a fun or fancy meal -- without a 'reason'. Give an extra-generous tip. Treat yourself to a GOOD chocolate bar. Maybe even share it :-)

And I hope, in sharing these thoughts with you, that there'll be a few more smiles spread around. I wish you a wonderful week ahead, and promise more humor comin' to you on the Smile List soon. In the meantime, don't forget to visit my SmileZone, and feel free to post a few thoughts on the things that make YOU smile (or you can even just read what others have written). Go to http://www.smilezone.com/talk, and then from there you'll know what to do :-)

Take care...

--Adam

Blast from the past: 8th grade poetry

Just for the heck of it, I figured I'd add in to my blog this goofy poem I wrote when I was in the 8th grade. Enjoy!

A Morning Warning

The following may really sound quite queer,
But it's all the truth, what you will hear
I'd like to describe to you one horrible day,
When something awful came my way.

I woke with the sun, just like all other morns
But next to my bed was a thing with nine horns!
Nine horns, I say, oh yes indeed,
Also nine eyes, with which it could read.

It opened its mouth and said, "Come to me,"
"I'm starving, for I haven't had breakfast, you see!"
Now I wasn't too keen on BEING breakfast that day,
So I thought really fast, and I started to say...

"I'm really fatty and I'm not good to eat,"
"But why don't you try Harry Plat down the street!"
The thing with nine eyes replied, "Gee, thanks a lot!"
And he flew, yes he flew, right away from that spot.

I never saw that creature after that
But in school, oh my, there was no Harry Plat!

This story isn't a bunch of lies,
And if you see something with nine horns and nine eyes --
Don't offer him someone else to eat,
For remember poor Harry Plat, who lived down the street.

Written by Adam Lasnik sometime in 1985 for 8th grade English class.

Christmas cards

My friend Jen recently blogged an entry about New Year's resolutions and Christmas Card writing.

The following is a comment I left on her blog regarding the latter issue:

I'm torn on the Christmas card thing. On one hand, I hate the process each year. I have 502 people in my Outlook addressbook. No, few if any of them are "Internet" friends; I have known them or at least have met every last one in Real Life... dancing, working, learning, playing, traveling, flirting, or a combination thereof.

The process of winnowing -- combined with the realization that writing and sending cards involves a not-insignificant amount of time and money -- is something I do dread each year.

But then I remind myself how happy I am when I get cards. Real cards I can touch, not e-mails that are easy to send, easy to file or delete.

And each year I am surprised as well as pleased. This year, I got a card from one of my sister's friends, a woman for whom I've always been fond of. She was actually thinking of me, and cared enough to write a few paragraphs? Wow! I also got a card from an old high school friend, a college (unrequited) crush, and assorted other folks that I either had or had not written myself.

Christmas card writing is an arbitrary and often frustrating process. But it's rewarding, too. It forces me to go through my contact list and think... whom should I write? Why? Is it time to file this contact away? Oh, THIS person? Erk! It's long overdue for me to actually CALL them! Hmm.

It's sort of the front-end on New Years resolutions, if you will, Jen. The actual execution isn't necessarily as valuable as the contemplation.

But daddy... I really waaaaaant war!

UN Iraq report complicates war plans

Jan. 6, 2003 | WASHINGTON (AP) -- U.N. inspectors have yet to turn up any sign of prohibited weapons in Iraq, complicating the Bush administration's task of justifying an armed invasion. Allies already are expressing misgivings, and the inspectors' first comprehensive report, due Jan. 27, could further cramp the timing of any attack.
[Read the full AP story]

Is it just me, or is this the tone of this a little wacky for AP-style? It seems to pretty clearly imply that we (as a nation) are jumping up and down in our seats excitedly gurgling "yay yay... let's go get 'em! I wanna get me a stuffed eeerackie!" followed by an "oh, danggomit! Those pesky UN guys are postponing our war!"

Or am I reading too much into this?

An obligation not to be intimidated

I was chatting with a kind and talented Lindy Hopper friend today after our usual Sunday dance, and he shared with me an interesting concept.

"You know how we often say that it's wrong for people to be snobs?" he asked. "Well, I think the other side is that we have an obligation not to be intimidated."

At first I was simply puzzled and a bit amused. An obligation not to be intimidated?



Then I remembered an online conversation with dance instructor / legend / Lindy-guru Paul Overton. When asked why he didn't ask more beginners to dance, Paul noted that he once DID frequently ask beginners to dance, but quickly realized that too many of them were so freaked out by the prospect of dancing with him that the dances ended up being simply uncomfortable for everyone. So from that point on, he decided to graciously accept a dance with anyone who asked him, but never ask a newbie to dance out of the blue.

Indeed, it's certainly understandable for relatively new dancers to be highly intimidated by more accomplished dancers.

But after a while, it seems reasonable for us average/mediocre dancers to remind ourselves that the "Rock stars" are to be enjoyed, not feared. Otherwise, we're conveying a similar albeit more subtle sense of discomfort to many of those we dance with, which is certainly not desireable for either party.

So, in the end, I agree with my friend. In the interest of making Lindy Hop a comfortable pleasure for everyone, we DO have an obligation not to be intimidated. Though admittedly, that's easier said than done ;-)